Webinar PTSD

[Verse 1] When I was a newbie, They told me, ""Run a webinar, It’s how you’ll make your way!"" They said, ""Son, if you want sales, You just gotta teach for an hour, And cash will rain your way!"" [Pre-Chorus] Oh, but they never told me That Zoom could crash and burn! My slides won’t load, my mic won’t work, And no one even showed! [Chorus] I tried to sell! (I tried to sell!) I gave my all, but no one bought! (But no one bought!) The replay link is dead—oh God! (Oh God!) I’ll never launch again! (Again! Again! Again!) [Verse 2] My offer was perfect, My stack was divine, But somehow, my pitch was a waste of their time. I practiced for weeks, I memorized flows, And yet I got hit with ""let me think, I dunno."" [Pre-Chorus] And through it all, The blank chat screen, the eerie quiet sound… The moment came, I dropped the price… But no one stuck around! [Chorus] I tried to sell! (I tried to sell!) I gave my all, but no one bought! (But no one bought!) They ghosted me, they shut me out! (They shut me out!) I’ll never launch again! (Again! Again! Again!) [Bridge] I see the gurus, hear them say, ""Just do it lyve, it’s the only way!"" But they don’t know this pain I feel… A webinar that won’t convert is real! (Music swells… drums build… then FULL SEND INTO THE FINAL CHORUS!) [Final Chorus] I tried to sell! (I tried to sell!) I gave my all, but no one bought! (But no one bought!) My funnel’s dead, my hope is lost! (My hope is lost!) I’LL NEVER LAUNCH AGAIN! (AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!) [Outro] Oh… I hear the silence… No cameras on… no questions asked… Just me… alone… In the chat… “Thanks for coming, everyone…”